搞笑短文

知識點：《搞笑短文》 收集：魯蔡耘 編輯：荷花仙子
本知識點包括：1、搞笑作文大全 2、求搞笑文章 3、小學生搞笑作文 4、少于50字的搞笑英語小短文「帶翻譯」 5、搞笑作文 。

《搞笑短文》相關知識

Without you,my world began to dim;without you,my way forward was so obscure and vague.I regretted that last night I didn't cherish you well.So today--I have to buy another pair of glasses to take your place.

失去你后,我的世界暗淡起來,沒有你,我的前路竟然是那樣模糊、茫然.我后悔昨晚沒能好好珍惜你,今天我只能再去――買副眼鏡代替你.

Not every flower symbolize for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. congratulations!

不是每一朵花都能代表愛情,但是玫瑰做到了；不是每一種樹都能耐住干渴,但是白楊做到了；不是每一頭豬都能看短消息,但是你做到了.恭喜你!

You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love.

1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U.

一天你會很驚訝的發現我出現在你身邊.你我一起歡笑,一起哭泣,一起夢想,依偎在一起,一起……只不過是你我一起坐在精神病院里并且我（醫生）給你（精神病人）做檢查.

Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.

有一次上帝來到我面前答應了我一個愿望.我說我要世界和平.“那是不可能的”他說.

Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, Let me try world peace.

然后我請讓你變聰明.他說：“你還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧.”

Every morning I pray 2 God that

everybody should get a friend like u,

...

每天早晨我都向上帝禱告：希望每個人都能夠擁有像你這樣的朋友……

Why should I be the only to

suffer...

為什么只有我要忍受有你這樣的朋友?

If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.

如果你躲起來,我會去找你.如果你不見了,我會尋覓你.如果你離開了,我會等你.如果日子會把你帶走,我會為你戰斗.

But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.

但是,如果你停止發短信息,我會宰了你.

Logic Reasoning

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin

g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

邏輯推理

小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課.她舉了這么一個例子：“有這樣一種情況,一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚,突然失去重心掉進了水里.于是他開始掙扎并喊救命.他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲,知道他并不會游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸.誰能告訴我這是為什么?” 一個女生舉手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?”

[注]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外,還有“河岸”的意思.

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

林肯過生日

老師：1809年發生了什么重大事件?

小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生.

老師：正確.那么1812年發生了什么重要事件呢?

小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三周歲生日.

（一）

小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?

老師說：Go ahead.小明就坐了下來.

過了一會兒,小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?

老師說：Go ahead.小明又坐了下來.

他旁邊的同學于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎?怎么不去?

小明說：你沒聽老師說“去你個頭”啊!

（二）

一對熱戀中的男女.女生非常沒有安全感,于是對著男友說：“

SAY I LOVEYOU! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”

男的答道：“I T!”

（三）

一位在美的留學生,想要考國際駕照.在考試時因為過于緊張,

看到地上標線是向左轉.

他不放心的問道：turn left?

監考官回答:right.于是他立刻向右轉……

（四）

某人刻苦學習英語,終有小成.一日上街不慎與一老外相撞,

忙說：I am sorry.

老外應道：I am sorry too.

某人聽后又道：I am sorry three.

老外不解,問：What are you sorry for?

某人無奈,道：I am sorry five.

1

調查員:What is your father"s name?

: 小 弟:Happy!

: 調查員:What is your mother"s name?

: 小 弟:Smile!

: 調查員:Are you joking?

: 小 弟:No!That"s my sister! I am Kidding!

知識拓展：

1： 英語笑話短文短一些,我想做一個關于樂觀積極面對人生的演講,想有一個笑話引出,（如果不是也可以,但要有哲理）

知識要點歸納：

Life after death

死后重生

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes,Sir." the new recruit replied."Well,then,that makes everything just fine," the boss went on."After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral,she stopped in to see you.

“你相信人能死后重生嗎?”老板問他的一個員工.

“我相信,先生”.這位剛上班不久的員工回答.

“哦,那還好”.老板接著說.

“你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮后,她老人家到這兒看你來了.”

Talking clock

會說話的鐘

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends,a college student led the way into the den."What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked."That is the talking clock," the man replied."How's it work?"

"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.Suddenly,someone screamed from the other side of the wall,"Knock it off,you idiot!It's two o'clock in the morning!"

一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓,甚是得意.“那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?”他的一個朋友問他.“那玩意兒厲害了,那是一個會說話的鐘”,學生回答.“這鐘怎么工作的”,他的朋友問.“看著,別眨眼了”,那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子,拼命地敲了一下,聲音震耳欲聾.突然,他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫,“別敲了,你這白癡!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”

www.24cn.com

2： 【英語幽默故事短文,急用!】

知識要點歸納：

Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.He went to see his doctor,who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills,slept well and was awake befor...

3： 【英語幽默小短文】

知識要點歸納：

英

In childhood daddy the fish discusses the matter which for the fish starved frequently.Listens,fish fish two with tears:“,daddy,you are because does not have the food to eat only then comes our family?”

漢

爸爸給魚魚講小時候經常挨餓的事.聽完,魚魚兩眼含淚：“呃,爸爸,你是因為沒飯吃才來我們家的嗎?”

4： 英語幽默短文要搞笑的

知識要點歸納：

英語幽默：Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步,突然她看見一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽.

母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪,汪,汪”,貓聽了非常害怕,拼命跑走了.

母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：“現在你知道外語的重要性了吧.”

Catch a cold 得感冒

During the fight,the boxer swiped the air furiously,but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well,if you keep this up," replied the coach,"he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

5： 【英語幽默小短文不少于三百字,急!10篇300字以下】

知識要點歸納：

Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

A week later,the Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This Indian is incredible," said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However,after several successful predictions,the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him."I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director,"and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?"

The Indian shrugged his shoulders."Don't know," he said."Radio is broken."

天氣預報

一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

一周后,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣.

幾次預報都很成功.然后,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.

最后,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"

印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."

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